Grief
by rhrshipper23
Summary: Takes place a few days after the final battle. A completed ten part drabble series surrounding the loss of a brother and the grief of a close knit family. Written for the livejournal community, rhr100 using the prompt: escape.


**Title:** Grief  
**Author:** **writerwannabe**  
**Prompt:** Escape  
**Rating:** PG  
**Word Count:** technically 100 x 10  
**Warnings:** DH Spoilers.  
**Notes:** This was exceptionally hard to write... started out as a three part drabble using the P.O.V. of our trio. But seeing as this is a r/hr community I extended the Ron and Hermione parts. And well I suddenly felt the need to finish it with that last POV. 2nd person is also hard for me, especially switching between characters like that. So I apologize ahead of time if it tanks.

* * *

You need to escape. The anguished wails of your mum press down on you, and it feels as though you are suffocating in your own grief. You push pass well wishers, ignoring their awkward pats and respectful nods and seek refuge in the garden. Your brothers are huddled near the old oak tree and you pause. George is crouched between them and they settle around him in a show of brotherly solidarity. Even Percy, in his finest dress robes, kneels in the muddy grass. You take a step toward them, then shake your head and walk in the opposite direction.

* * *

You watch Ron leave. You shift a bit on the sofa and Ginny snuggles closer. She has stopped crying but maintains her hold on your hand. You feel compelled to go after him, to make sure that your best friend is okay. Hermione makes her way through the crowd of mourners, her eyes searching anxiously before meeting your own. 'Out back' you mouth and she heads off in that direction. You realize that it'll be Hermione who tends to Ron in these difficult times. And so, you tighten your hold and offer support to the redhead tucked under your chin.

* * *

Ron has left the house and you rush off after him. Immediately you see the group of redheads hunkered under the tree, but are disappointed to find that he isn't among them. On a hunch you follow the path leading to the lake. As you come around the bend you spot him crouched at the water's edge. You watch transfixed as he stands and begins to toss a handful of rocks with growing agitation. He throws the last one with so much force that he loses his balance and nearly falls into the lake. He collapses to the ground, spent.

* * *

Footsteps approach and you hang your head, hoping that your overgrown fringe will hide the tears that burn your eyes. You want to face your grief alone. You want to be able to push passed it so that you can be strong for your family. You don't deserve to fall apart like your mum or Ginny… or George. You abandoned them all those months ago to find horcruxes with no word to let them know that you were still alive. Your brother is being laid to rest today but you can't help but think that it should've been you instead.

* * *

You take a seat beside him, wincing as the wetness of the grass seeps through the material of your skirt. Ron's face is hidden by his shaggy hair and you repress the urge to push it back over his ear. Instead you slip your hand into his and lean against his shoulder. You don't know how long the two of you sit there in silence before he squeezes your hand. He shakes his head slowly and mumbles under his breath._ 'Should've been me'._ The words are soft, but they echo in your ears as if they'd been shouted at you.

* * *

She yanks her hand away and scrambles to her knees in front of you. Her hands come up and cup your face, tilting it up with force until your eyes meet.

'What did you say?' she rasps. There are tears in her brown eyes and you feel even more guilt pile up.

"Nothing."

'Don't ever say that!' Anger colors her words and you try to turn away but her hold is firm.

"It's true," you argue and wince as tears spill onto her flushed cheeks. "I abandoned them… It should have been me, Hermione. Why couldn't it have been me?"

* * *

He's speaking through his grief but it doesn't make it any easier to hear. The fact that he wishes that he were in his dead brother's place tears a hole in your heart, but it's imperative that you remain strong for him.

"It shouldn't have been_ anyone,_" you tell him softly. "Fred's death was tragic…but it wasn't your fault."

'I was standing next to him!' His eyes are wild. 'And he pushed me away! Just as the wall exploded in on us…he pushed me away!' His face crumples and he draws in a shuddering breath._'Oh God… Oh God… Shite…'_

_

* * *

_

The tears come against your will and you struggle to draw breath through the anguished sobs that are being torn from your very soul. It hurts so damn much and you can't seem to make it stop. Your arms wrap around your chest and you lean forward until your head touches the ground. Suddenly her hands are on you. They run through your hair, rubbing soothingly against your scalp. Then she's pulling you forward. At first you resist but she pulls even harder and you're too weak to fight. She awkwardly cradles you in her arms whispering words of encouragement.

* * *

His grief is palpable and you begin to rock him gently. "Let it out… let it all out," you whisper in his ear and he only cries harder in response. "I'm so sorry… so very sorry." You kiss the top of his head, willing to hold him for however long it takes. "Nobody blames you, Ron. Your family loves you. They need you." Tears blur your vision at the thought of possibly losing him."_I_ need you."

'I need you too,' he finally chokes out.

It won't be easy and it'll take time, but you'll make it through this.

Together.

* * *

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. At school no less! And your Mum always said a good education wouldn't kill you. You doubt she'd see the irony of that now. You see their pain and you're tempted to stay. To linger on in the halls of Hogwart's forever wreaking havoc as a ghost. It'd be a hoot, for sure. But it would also be difficult. For them. They wouldn't be able to move on if you remained. You smile down at them one last time before leaving, hoping that pranks will be needed wherever your journey takes you next. 


End file.
